As I hurled myself into the driver’s seat of my car this morning I heard a rip and then felt a rush of cold, prickly air on suddenly exposed skin. I looked down to find that my jeans had split straight through the inner thigh. It was as if the seams had just exploded. At first it was cool because I was like, “I am The Incredible She-Hulk-Xena Warrior Princess-She-Ra! RAWWWWWRRRRR!” But then I was like, “Fuck! These are my favorite fat jeans!”
Anyway. My day is pretty much ruined.
I know – weird, right? Mondays are usually so awesome.
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